Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
