K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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