I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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