I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
