I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
