He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize