guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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