im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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