Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
