I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
