As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize