Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
even my farts smell like vagina
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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