I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
