New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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