come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
