dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize