I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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