direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
