I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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