my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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