You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
