Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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