ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
