I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
