so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
