Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
