I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize