haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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