White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
