Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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