she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
