We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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