She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
