Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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