It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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