We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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