OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
