College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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