dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
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hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
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You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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