Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
