Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
