Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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