Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Who died my cat blue again?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
