Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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