Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize