HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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