I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize