On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
