While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
