She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
