Do vagina's smell?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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