shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize