oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
