How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Non-Jews are for practice
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
