So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
