ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
