I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
