It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
