Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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