So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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