Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
