dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
