I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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