I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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