she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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