He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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